Renee Reyes is the webmistress of www.reneereyes.com, a huge site where t-girls of all stripes have found information over the years. She is a strong believer in the commonality of experience of all kinds of transfolk, from crossdressers to transsexuals. She lives in Atlanta, Georgia.
< Renee Reyes
1. As far as I can tell, we’re rare in talking about admirers. Why do you think so many trans sites avoid the subject?
I’d say there are a couple of reasons. First, the large majority of gender-related web sites are hosted by girls whose feminine existence is still a very limited affair. In terms of sheer hours these gals have little time to fully consider their sexuality as precious femme time is wrapped up in improving their appearance. Attraction to others is limited to other transgenders & females. Alas, the sometimes crude approaches from neophyte male admirers aggravate the situation.
Admirers are an important segment of the gender community. They provide beauty affirmation and serve as healthy outlets for relationships. Like the girls…most admirers didn’t necessarily choose to find transgenders highly appealing. Nature just wired them that way.
Gays weren’t initially very accepting of transgenders. Admirers suffer the same sort of fate. We’ll get there.
2. What are the best/worst things about being Renee Reyes?
The best? Knowing I’ve helped other girls more easily cross chasms I struggled with in my gender development. I’m at that point in life where I’m more interested in what Iâ€™m doing that makes a difference for others versus me.
The other side of this coin marks my biggest challenge. I’m not able to assist people as directly as I’d like & I tend to emotionally retain their pain & personal issues as my own. It’s difficult to walk away from a gal in need when you know the codes to unlock her success…and you just don’t have the time or energy to help.
3. You used to have a section for spouses on how to be more accepting of a TG husband. Since you’ve transitioned, there’s now also a “T-Girl Admirer’s Handbook.” Do you currently have any advice for spouses of MTF TGs? Do you believe it’s possible or desirable for TGs to maintain their existing romantic relationships?
I believe a loving union transcends gender. The challenge is always buried within communication, commitment & overcoming stigmas. It’s crucial for those of us living through these issues & discovering unique insights to share any illuminations. You & Betty are a testament to that mantra.
Without a doubt, this – is one slippery slope. I’ve already drafted over thirty pages of new information on this singular issue that’ll be added to my web. Most of my best insights are regarding making a relationship work through a gender transition but Iâ€™m hopeful all will find some useful information.
4. I know you kind of disappeared a little from your site – why? Did you manage to stay away?
*Laugh* It only appears I’ve “been away”.
Off-line – I’ve been drafting a much needed new & improved version of my personal web site that I plan to launch on June 3rd, 2006…my 45th birthday. It already includes over 300% more content within existing sections plus an entirely new manual on successfully navigating transition. Also, I’m making sure my photographic images could pass PG-17 muster and I hired professionals to enhance the html & graphics.
My long-term vision is to make it one of the world’s best free sources for any beginner within the three main areas of transgenderism (Crossdressers, Admirers & Transsexuals)…to start their journey.
Iâ€™ve been trying to keep up with the basics at my existing site until the new version is ready. Alas, it’s been like birthing an infant while congruently parenting a teen. Such fun…
5. What are you currently up to? How’s transition been?
The best thing in my life is the family that adopted me as their own. Sadly, all my immediate family passed away & my remaining blood relatives are lukewarm with acceptance. I recently added a transgender teen that was displaced from Hurricane Katrina to my little hodge-podge of extended family. These relationships make my life very special.
I have a pair of books coming out next year (non-gender related). Cleaning up the presentation & content at my web site was a prerequisite of my publisher. I know you understand the unique challenges & stigma of transgenderism amongst mainstream economies.