While the message boards are closed, I’m looking into new ways to organize the boards, see how others have done it. Since I’m sure some of you participate in other boards, do email me (or comment below) on what has worked for other boards you’ve been on.
That way, when and if they reopen, they will have gotten a face lift, some new parameters, and better governing principles/organization. (I also intend to be far less forgiving.)
So: let me know. I’ve already been looking at the boards at www.calpernia.com and www.crossdressers.com for ideas. Any others you could suggest would be welcome.
Loveseats and Us
It turns out the store owner was quite nice – and surprised – about the stinky loveseat, and his guys came to pick it up just moments ago. He told me it came to him upholstered, and then it was stored outside – so our joint guess is that once it was in a warm space, the stinkiness was released. And wow, did it smell. But we have a store credit and first dibs on any loveseats he gets in. Since we need a new lamp and other small things, I’m not worried about using that credit.
Of course, due to the Transit Strike, Betty is home today.
The Strike is On
Okay, well I’m impressed with Roger Toussaint. It strikes me that someone raised him to be very aware of exactly who he was named after.
NYC MTA Transit Strike is On?
At the very least, an awful lot of New Yorkers will be taking tomorrow off; a lot will also be stuck in traffic or walking long distances or waiting too long for cabs.
But I expect the Governor and Mayor will step in somehow and demand the striking workers get back on the job. Just my prediction, but Pataki especially is not labor-friendly (which he amply demonstrated with his recent veto of the minimum raise increase).
The official word hasn’t come in yet at 1:58am, but NY1 News is predicting it’ll come through shortly.
Withdrawal
Just so you know, folks, it’s a little like withdrawal not having the boards to moderate.
So today, instead, I was out running some errands, the Post Office (thanks for the Christmas cards, to those who sent them!) & the bank, & I see this small loveseat displayed at one of the antique stories nearby, part of their outdoor rack. It’s a place we’ve bought from reliably before; we even bought our chifforobe there. Anyway, it’s small enough for our living room, which is no mean feat, & I put $20 down on it while I run my other errands – and come back to schedule the delivery.
The delivery guys show up not long after with the thing wrapped in plastic, spend way too long getting it up the stairs. Finally, they get it into the apartment, and because they took so long, they practically run out the door when they’re done. So I unwrap the loveseat.
And it stinks of cat piss.
Now it’s in the hallway outside out apartment, and I’ve called the place to have them come get it.
Stay tuned.
"It is NOT normal for a person to have no sexual desire."
I found a few articles tonight about low male libido and low sex marriages and – for once! – some comments from wives who are living with husbands who have little to no interest in sex.
I thought this would be useful for all the wives out there who write to me about how their husbands never seduce them, who feel ugly or fat or rejected or not feminine enough because of it. We tend in the TG community to “blame” the transness for this stuff, but ladies – it’s not the transness. When you read these letters from wives, you’ll understand what I mean: they sound so much like yours.
There’s a list of possible causes for male low libido here.
There’s also some good advice for both people in a relationship plagued with low libido, but this one was the most appropriate, I thought, for the wives of CD/TGs.
Don’t blame yourself for his low libido. It has nothing to do with the way you look, or how much you weigh, or your sexual performance, etc.
…or how feminine you are or aren’t, I’d add. Words to live by, yes?
The Boards are Closed
Betty and I have shut down the boards for the time being because they’ve had a tone of nastiness that doesn’t seem to be going away – no matter how many times we suggest that people be a little more gentle with each other.
We don’t know how long they will stay closed, but we will certainly be taking this time to move them to our new host.
Thank you to everyone who has written in support of our decision, and/or with concerns about our own feelings on the matter. In some ways, this has been long overdue, and since I’m also in the middle of contract stuff for the next book, it’s quite good timing for me as I’ve got some big decisions to make.
Obviously, when they come back, I’ll post the news here first.
Thanks,
Helen & Betty
Deep Stealth Interview
On Wednesday night, I was interviewed by Andrea James of Deep Stealth Productions for a video series they’re doing to help people transition. It’s a video series aimed at helping both the transitioners and their loved ones – which is of course where I came in.
I can honestly say it was one of the most enjoyable interviews I’ve ever done; Andrea James was professional, filmed a few different angles of the interview, and asked great questions. I was in pretty good form, too, if I do say so myself.
I don’t know when it’s going to be available for purchase, but I’ll certainly keep you posted. I love the idea myself, mostly because I understand that not everyone is big on reading, and yet friends & family alike need good resources for understanding transness.
Dark Odyssey (#4) – Winter Fire
Betty and I are once again attending Dark Odyssey: Winter Fire, and we’re excited – as usual.
If you haven’t registered yet, there’s still time, & they’ve now also introduced an ‘everything but’ pass so that if you have other plans for New Year’s Eve, you can still come to classes and workshops and use the playspaces on the other nights and days.
For more information, you can check the thread where we’ve talked about it on the boards, or check the Dark Odyssey website.
A (Cat) Tree Grows in (a) Brooklyn (Apartment)
When we first brought this coat rack home, the boys were very young, but we knew from three minutes in that Aeneas was certain this was his tree, and his alone. He does let us use it to put coats & hats on, however. Nice of him, isn’t it?